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Cyberbullying & Your Kids

On March 11, 2009, Janice Currie, VP of Counselling Services at Kids Help Phone, participated in a panel discussion called “Cyberbullying: helping your child negotiate the risks” as part of the Hospital for Sick Children’s Public Forum Talks. The expert panel discussed internet safety risks and what parents can do to minimize them. To listen to the discussion, click here.

Online Safety and Your Kids

One of the most important things that adults can do is to talk about online safety with their kids. This should not be a “one-time” discussion, but rather an ongoing dialogue, that evolves as kids get older and require more freedom and complexity of information. Here are some tips that may help you ensure your kids are aware of online safety:

  1. Keep the computer in a central location in your home (not the bedroom)
  2. Talk about phone and online safety on a regular basis
  3. Teach your teen never to respond to text or IM messages from someone they don't know
  4. Discourage your teens from using a webcam in private or taking suggestive pictures
  5. Ask your teens to show you what they are doing online and be aware of who they are talking to
  6. Make sure your teen knows they can come to you for help if they run into trouble
  7. Be aware of the danger signs that your teens may be in trouble:
    • they quickly turn the computer or phone off when you come into a room;
    • you find pornography on the computer
    • your child makes or gets phone calls from people you don't know;
    • your child seems withdrawn, worried or depressed
    • if your child is being threatened or harassed, save the evidence and contact the police
Brenda called Kid’s Help Phone to vent about her parents. She said they were being unreasonable by not allowing her to meet a boy. The 15-year-old was considering sneaking out anyway. A few questions revealed that the boy was someone she’d “met” on the Internet – and that he’d first said he was 15, but was actually 29. The KHP counselor talked about Brenda’s natural curiosity, but also about possible dangers. It didn’t take long for Brenda to admit to having “funny feelings” about it. By the end of the call, she’d decided to try to find someone her own age, met the “old-fashioned” way. Mike told us he was traveling fast on the road to nowhere. He wanted to get off drugs and off the streets. The KHP counselor calmed Mike, assessed his needs, and found him a safe shelter. Years later, Mike called again. Now 20, he was back in school, with a steady job and a new life. He was calling to say thanks – not just for what KHP had done, but most of all for listening to him and believing in him. Mike says KHP helped him turn his life around. Today, he spends his spare time helping street youth. Ten-year-old Megan was being sexually and physically abused. Two nights earlier, she’d been placed in a foster home, but didn’t feel comfortable talking to her foster parents yet. With gentle prompting, Megan began to tell her story. Her feelings were agonizingly mixed. Despite everything, she missed her mom’s bedtime stories and the familiarity of home. It meant a lot to be able to talk about her feelings with someone she could trust. Together, Megan and KHP looked at what Megan could do to make things easier, like getting bedtime stories on tape. She was grateful to be reminded that her foster home would become more familiar each day, and that KHP would be there whenever she needed it in the days ahead. Brenda called Kid’s Help Phone to vent about her parents. She said they were being unreasonable by not allowing her to meet a boy. The 15-year-old was considering sneaking out anyway. A few questions revealed that the boy was someone she’d “met” on the Internet – and that he’d first said he was 15, but was actually 29. The KHP counselor talked about Brenda’s natural curiosity, but also about possible dangers. It didn’t take long for Brenda to admit to having “funny feelings” about it. By the end of the call, she’d decided to try to find someone her own age, met the “old-fashioned” way. Mike told us he was traveling fast on the road to nowhere. He wanted to get off drugs and off the streets. The KHP counselor calmed Mike, assessed his needs, and found him a safe shelter. Years later, Mike called again. Now 20, he was back in school, with a steady job and a new life. He was calling to say thanks – not just for what KHP had done, but most of all for listening to him and believing in him. Mike says KHP helped him turn his life around. Today, he spends his spare time helping street youth. Ten-year-old Megan was being sexually and physically abused. Two nights earlier, she’d been placed in a foster home, but didn’t feel comfortable talking to her foster parents yet. With gentle prompting, Megan began to tell her story. Her feelings were agonizingly mixed. Despite everything, she missed her mom’s bedtime stories and the familiarity of home. It meant a lot to be able to talk about her feelings with someone she could trust. Together, Megan and KHP looked at what Megan could do to make things easier, like getting bedtime stories on tape. She was grateful to be reminded that her foster home would become more familiar each day, and that KHP would be there whenever she needed it in the days ahead. Brenda called Kid’s Help Phone to vent about her parents. She said they were being unreasonable by not allowing her to meet a boy. The 15-year-old was considering sneaking out anyway. A few questions revealed that the boy was someone she’d “met” on the Internet – and that he’d first said he was 15, but was actually 29. The KHP counselor talked about Brenda’s natural curiosity, but also about possible dangers. It didn’t take long for Brenda to admit to having “funny feelings” about it. By the end of the call, she’d decided to try to find someone her own age, met the “old-fashioned” way. Mike told us he was traveling fast on the road to nowhere. He wanted to get off drugs and off the streets. The KHP counselor calmed Mike, assessed his needs, and found him a safe shelter. Years later, Mike called again. Now 20, he was back in school, with a steady job and a new life. He was calling to say thanks – not just for what KHP had done, but most of all for listening to him and believing in him. Mike says KHP helped him turn his life around. Today, he spends his spare time helping street youth. Ten-year-old Megan was being sexually and physically abused. Two nights earlier, she’d been placed in a foster home, but didn’t feel comfortable talking to her foster parents yet. With gentle prompting, Megan began to tell her story. Her feelings were agonizingly mixed. Despite everything, she missed her mom’s bedtime stories and the familiarity of home. It meant a lot to be able to talk about her feelings with someone she could trust. Together, Megan and KHP looked at what Megan could do to make things easier, like getting bedtime stories on tape. She was grateful to be reminded that her foster home would become more familiar each day, and that KHP would be there whenever she needed it in the days ahead. Brenda called Kid’s Help Phone to vent about her parents. She said they were being unreasonable by not allowing her to meet a boy. The 15-year-old was considering sneaking out anyway. A few questions revealed that the boy was someone she’d “met” on the Internet – and that he’d first said he was 15, but was actually 29. The KHP counselor talked about Brenda’s natural curiosity, but also about possible dangers. It didn’t take long for Brenda to admit to having “funny feelings” about it. By the end of the call, she’d decided to try to find someone her own age, met the “old-fashioned” way. Mike told us he was traveling fast on the road to nowhere. He wanted to get off drugs and off the streets. The KHP counselor calmed Mike, assessed his needs, and found him a safe shelter. Years later, Mike called again. Now 20, he was back in school, with a steady job and a new life. He was calling to say thanks – not just for what KHP had done, but most of all for listening to him and believing in him. Mike says KHP helped him turn his life around. Today, he spends his spare time helping street youth. Ten-year-old Megan was being sexually and physically abused. Two nights earlier, she’d been placed in a foster home, but didn’t feel comfortable talking to her foster parents yet. With gentle prompting, Megan began to tell her story. Her feelings were agonizingly mixed. Despite everything, she missed her mom’s bedtime stories and the familiarity of home. It meant a lot to be able to talk about her feelings with someone she could trust. Together, Megan and KHP looked at what Megan could do to make things easier, like getting bedtime stories on tape. She was grateful to be reminded that her foster home would become more familiar each day, and that KHP would be there whenever she needed it in the days ahead. Brenda called Kid’s Help Phone to vent about her parents. She said they were being unreasonable by not allowing her to meet a boy. The 15-year-old was considering sneaking out anyway. A few questions revealed that the boy was someone she’d “met” on the Internet – and that he’d first said he was 15, but was actually 29. The KHP counselor talked about Brenda’s natural curiosity, but also about possible dangers. It didn’t take long for Brenda to admit to having “funny feelings” about it. By the end of the call, she’d decided to try to find someone her own age, met the “old-fashioned” way. Mike told us he was traveling fast on the road to nowhere. He wanted to get off drugs and off the streets. The KHP counselor calmed Mike, assessed his needs, and found him a safe shelter. Years later, Mike called again. Now 20, he was back in school, with a steady job and a new life. He was calling to say thanks – not just for what KHP had done, but most of all for listening to him and believing in him. Mike says KHP helped him turn his life around. Today, he spends his spare time helping street youth. Ten-year-old Megan was being sexually and physically abused. Two nights earlier, she’d been placed in a foster home, but didn’t feel comfortable talking to her foster parents yet. With gentle prompting, Megan began to tell her story. Her feelings were agonizingly mixed. Despite everything, she missed her mom’s bedtime stories and the familiarity of home. It meant a lot to be able to talk about her feelings with someone she could trust. Together, Megan and KHP looked at what Megan could do to make things easier, like getting bedtime stories on tape. She was grateful to be reminded that her foster home would become more familiar each day, and that KHP would be there whenever she needed it in the days ahead. Brenda called Kid’s Help Phone to vent about her parents. She said they were being unreasonable by not allowing her to meet a boy. The 15-year-old was considering sneaking out anyway. A few questions revealed that the boy was someone she’d “met” on the Internet – and that he’d first said he was 15, but was actually 29. The KHP counselor talked about Brenda’s natural curiosity, but also about possible dangers. It didn’t take long for Brenda to admit to having “funny feelings” about it. By the end of the call, she’d decided to try to find someone her own age, met the “old-fashioned” way. Mike told us he was traveling fast on the road to nowhere. He wanted to get off drugs and off the streets. The KHP counselor calmed Mike, assessed his needs, and found him a safe shelter. Years later, Mike called again. Now 20, he was back in school, with a steady job and a new life. He was calling to say thanks – not just for what KHP had done, but most of all for listening to him and believing in him. Mike says KHP helped him turn his life around. Today, he spends his spare time helping street youth. Ten-year-old Megan was being sexually and physically abused. Two nights earlier, she’d been placed in a foster home, but didn’t feel comfortable talking to her foster parents yet. With gentle prompting, Megan began to tell her story. Her feelings were agonizingly mixed. Despite everything, she missed her mom’s bedtime stories and the familiarity of home. It meant a lot to be able to talk about her feelings with someone she could trust. Together, Megan and KHP looked at what Megan could do to make things easier, like getting bedtime stories on tape. She was grateful to be reminded that her foster home would become more familiar each day, and that KHP would be there whenever she needed it in the days ahead. Brenda called Kid’s Help Phone to vent about her parents. She said they were being unreasonable by not allowing her to meet a boy. The 15-year-old was considering sneaking out anyway. A few questions revealed that the boy was someone she’d “met” on the Internet – and that he’d first said he was 15, but was actually 29. The KHP counselor talked about Brenda’s natural curiosity, but also about possible dangers. It didn’t take long for Brenda to admit to having “funny feelings” about it. By the end of the call, she’d decided to try to find someone her own age, met the “old-fashioned” way. Mike told us he was traveling fast on the road to nowhere. He wanted to get off drugs and off the streets. The KHP counselor calmed Mike, assessed his needs, and found him a safe shelter. Years later, Mike called again. Now 20, he was back in school, with a steady job and a new life. He was calling to say thanks – not just for what KHP had done, but most of all for listening to him and believing in him. Mike says KHP helped him turn his life around. Today, he spends his spare time helping street youth. Ten-year-old Megan was being sexually and physically abused. Two nights earlier, she’d been placed in a foster home, but didn’t feel comfortable talking to her foster parents yet. With gentle prompting, Megan began to tell her story. Her feelings were agonizingly mixed. Despite everything, she missed her mom’s bedtime stories and the familiarity of home. It meant a lot to be able to talk about her feelings with someone she could trust. Together, Megan and KHP looked at what Megan could do to make things easier, like getting bedtime stories on tape. She was grateful to be reminded that her foster home would become more familiar each day, and that KHP would be there whenever she needed it in the days ahead. Brenda called Kid’s Help Phone to vent about her parents. She said they were being unreasonable by not allowing her to meet a boy. The 15-year-old was considering sneaking out anyway. A few questions revealed that the boy was someone she’d “met” on the Internet – and that he’d first said he was 15, but was actually 29. The KHP counselor talked about Brenda’s natural curiosity, but also about possible dangers. It didn’t take long for Brenda to admit to having “funny feelings” about it. By the end of the call, she’d decided to try to find someone her own age, met the “old-fashioned” way. Mike told us he was traveling fast on the road to nowhere. He wanted to get off drugs and off the streets. The KHP counselor calmed Mike, assessed his needs, and found him a safe shelter. Years later, Mike called again. Now 20, he was back in school, with a steady job and a new life. He was calling to say thanks – not just for what KHP had done, but most of all for listening to him and believing in him. Mike says KHP helped him turn his life around. Today, he spends his spare time helping street youth. Ten-year-old Megan was being sexually and physically abused. Two nights earlier, she’d been placed in a foster home, but didn’t feel comfortable talking to her foster parents yet. With gentle prompting, Megan began to tell her story. Her feelings were agonizingly mixed. Despite everything, she missed her mom’s bedtime stories and the familiarity of home. It meant a lot to be able to talk about her feelings with someone she could trust. Together, Megan and KHP looked at what Megan could do to make things easier, like getting bedtime stories on tape. She was grateful to be reminded that her foster home would become more familiar each day, and that KHP would be there whenever she needed it in the days ahead.